‘Dishonesty Writ Small’ - Improving my Diet - Part 2.
So where are we at?
Well, it’s the 6th today. I weigh 12 stone 9 pounds. Not bad. Not bad at all. I don’t think I’ve lost 3 pounds in a week, I think its more likely that my initial weight measurement (13 stone) was overblown by water weight and other factors.
But it’s something.
I managed to kick caffiene and bad food for the first 2 days. I snacked a little bit, but only on rice cakes and other healthy, low-calorie things. I’ve been sleeping well and feeling more focussed.
I had a conversation with my mum about my diet. You know how Matthew Perry, on his alcoholism, would say, ‘I’m in control of the first drink’? - I will leave aside the fact that technically you are responsible for everything you do.
Anyway: ‘I’m in control of the first drink’. - I have sympathy for the statement because it’s how I feel about junk food and sodas. Yesterday I was at a Surrey Scouts event for six hours. It was tiring, so I had some diet coke and sugary foods to keep me going. I think it could be excused for that event, because it was absent-minded to some degree, and served a purpose.
But I don’t stop there.
I’m typing this out with 2 bottles of diet coke to my right, accompanied by chocolate bars waiting to be demolished.
It’s like my willpower is a sleuce gate, as soon as its breached I allow myself to be washed away in the flood. It’s like I can’t stop eating junk food when I allow myself to start. I found an NHS page about ‘Binge Eating Disorder’ and it sounds like I tick all the boxes when I’m in the throws of this issue. I’m not a fan of labels, but perhaps this page has resources for others who might feel like they have a similar issue.
I will consume the soda and chocolate I’ve bought. But then I’ve got to draw a line under it HERE. I said in part 1 that my online blog helps me to benchmark things. It helped me kick nicotine. Well, I’m guessing that writing about this will help me draw this line.
As for the sleep schedule, it’s working. I’m knocking off around 10 and waking up early in the morning. I haven’t nailed it exactly, but it’s getting there.
As for my daily schedule, I will be getting stricter on that soon. But I find myself more naturally doing the chores that need doing when better sleep and nutrition is present.
Dishonesty writ small
22:20pm
I told my mum that I was only taking small change to the shop, so I can buy almonds and not be tempted to buy more. Nonetheless, I took enough to buy another diet coke and a large chocolate bar. If there was any doubt this was an issue, let there be none.
I did really want almonds. I read an article about how they are good for your sleep. That’s not the point though, is it? I kind of lied. I obfuscated the truth. I’m not owning up to it, either. I prayed for forgiveness and guidance instead. Tomorrow is another story though, hey.
My mum always says its a fallacious notion to permit yourself to eat more junk once you’ve messed up once in a day. You can always stop there. I failed to stop there. I ate bad all day.
It’s literally minutes to midnight now.
Let’s try to start this emergent week with a new vigour.
Watch this space.
Jed.
